Views from the Manse – A Model Rural Minister

2nd December 2019

Here is some fun in the form of a skit produced for a church concert. It was produced and presented by Dorothy Morgan and the family while they were at Naringal. The item illustrates one way a modern minister’s wife may contribute to church life. While the focus was on the role of the pastor, he was not present but was represented by a puppet.

A MODEL RURAL MINISTER

Parody of “I Am the Very Model of A Modern Major General” by Gilbert & Sullivan in the ‘The Pirates of Penzance.’ If you are not familiar with the music then Google ‘I am the very model…’ and you will find several renditions. These will give you the tune and the style in which it is usually presented.  

The item was performed at a church concert in the mid-1990s by a pastor-look-alike puppet in the pulpit, to a soundtrack graciously recorded by the pastor, who was unable to be present.

I am the very model of a modern rural minister,
Although I do suggest ideas that challenge folks and cause a stir –
Like building renovations that would rival ol’ Westminister –
And introducing songs that no-one’s ever heard or sung before.
I’ve made a point of learning all about things agricultural:
I now can say with confidence, “Look, that one over there’s a bull!”
I’ve asked the dumbest questions that the dairy farmers ever heard,
But when they say, “Will you help milk?”, I answer “Don’t be so absurd!”

Echo:
But when they say, “Will you help milk?”, he answers “Don’t be so absurd!”

I play a mean trombone and know a lot about things musical.
I like up-tempo songs in church, but love to play the classical,
And though I do enjoy old hymns, I steer away from dirgey ones
‘Cause I’m the very model of a trendy Aussie clergyman.

Echo:
And though he does enjoy old hymns, he steers away from dirgey ones
‘Cause he’s the very model of a trendy Aussie clergyman.

I like to read the printed page (my wife says I’m obsessed with it –
in early days my thirst for books caused her to throw many a fit!)
And yes, my library shelves are filled with many volumes biblical,
Theological, historical and plenty that is pastoral;
And some books that are comical and others rather serious
And magazines and newspapers and booklets that all gather dust;
But all of them are useful for a Whitley-ordained reverend:
I write such wondrous sermons – people wonder if they’ll ever end!

Echo:
He writes such wondrous sermons – people wonder if they’ll ever end!

Though farming types like to believe my skills aren’t very practical
I’m not afraid to try my hand at matters electronical
Like mother boards and cards and RAM that make computers faster
‘Cause I’m the very model of a nineties Baptist pastor.

Echo:
Like mother boards and cards and RAM that make computers faster
‘Cause he’s the very model of a nineties Baptist pastor.

In fact, when folks around this way have problems technological
They have been known to call me (though my role is theological)
‘Cause though I’m far from expert (and know so much less than RB[1] does!)
I’m game to try the options out – and when they work, I get a buzz.
I’ve also filled the vital role of holder of the big spotlight
While others aim and fire some shots to catch the bunnies out at night.
I preach and teach and organise and try to visit everyone –
Despite ferocious dogs at times that make me want to turn and run!

Echo:
Despite ferocious dogs at times that make him want to turn and run!

Though what I’ve said may not sound like a man filled with humility
I’m not (and know I’ll never be) the perfect rural church “GP”
‘Cause really, when all’s said and done, I’m here to serve God’s precious Son –
And He’s the ideal model of a rural Baptist clergyman.

Echo:
‘Cause really, when all’s said and done, I’m here to serve God’s precious Son –
And He’s the ideal model of a rural Baptist clergyman.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 


[1] Church member qualified and working in the IT field